Monday 2 October 2023

The cheese hotel

A new proposal emerged today: the cheese hotel.

Humans have been constructing hotels out of various surprising materials for a long time. Inside mountain rocks or caverns, for example. Even primitive cultures manage to build an ice hotel, using their (sub)polar region's ice to make bricks and put together a frozen palace where people want to pay a lot of money to sleep in a cold, uncomfortable room carved out from ice, on an ice bed with reindeer covers.

Since then, hotels have been carved in giant trees, lava rivers, or in the insides of the mastodontic cetaceans of Kehour III's oceans. However, according to Jenny, it takes a truly advanced civilization to build a hotel inside a cheese block. The structural mechanics offer unique challenges, and plumbing adds to that, as hot water pipes should not result in a cheese fondue. Hotel guests nibbling from the walls or cheese-carved beds also pose a problem that could never be tackled by lower-tier civilizations. 

In fact, some scientists developed an advancement index for civilizations based on the best and strangest types of hotel lodging that they can provide. It is said that the Jove have a yogurt (or tzatziki) hotel, hidden deeply in their space. Jenny argued that this might even be the basis of the Deathless' appeal to the pirate factions, and it is our duty to counteract it with a hotel carved into a cheese block. 

She is good at getting investors riled up, but it does not sound convincing to me.