During the attack on Farthest Shore I regretted that I was not able to help more actively with the defense of this structure. I wished to do more.
I have taken a vow of non-agression, which forbids me to inflict damage ("dps") on other capsuleers. And frankly, I prefer peaceful exploration and research to any combat.
I fully intend to keep my vow, and so I must find a role in fleet that allows me to do just that. Logistics, repairing damage done to my fleet mates, fits for me and allows me to keep the vow. Yet I know nothing about fleets: even though I have the repair skills on paper, I have no experience.
So I was happy that lord Gallus-Onzo organised a teaching fleet and patiently explained to me the basics of remote repairing in practice. That practice was actually a war zone patrol, where I did manage to briefly give repairs, before my little training frigate was primaried. Nevertheless, I was happy to join and experience the talent of lord Gallus-Onzo as a fleet commander and teacher.
Back in Mehatoor, I encountered lord-consort Newelle and lady Yassavi. They appeared congratulatory, content that even a scholar would contribute to the effort in the war zone. I think Lady Yassavi interpreted my participation as if I had finally laid down my fickle powerlessness, and have now embraced the power to harm others.
I'm afraid they have misread my motives. My goal is not the become a warzone soldier - it is to learn logi... I got the impression that lady Yassavi feels power only flows from the barrel of a weapon; this a fallacy all too common in military circles. It disregards the true power which is exerted by diplomats such as Amicia or Lunarisse. Making allies, friends, is what brings victory, in a way that a single pilot or terrorist blinded by the "power" of their gun can never match.
