The art of the deal

I received a mail from "sommelier2120@anonymous.net". I have no idea how that creature found my galnet mail address.

Well, it is listed on the website of our chapel, so it is not particularly difficult to find.

I know it belongs to that weird creature at the blood cellar, I recognize its peculiar way of speaking:

"Dearest sir, this is your sommelier, who had the doubleplus pleasure of meeting your optimal exaltedness recently at our shop!" 

It calls itself a sommelier though wine is not its business. Probably it knows the MIO is scanning these mails, so it is cautious.

"Rumors of your interest in the special vintage" - I was not interested in Luna's blood - "have spread." 

The bloody thing must have spread the rumors itself. 

"Other collectors are scrambling doublespeed, in particular the one from Mekhios. This pushes up the price to higher levels, sadly doubleminus I need to inform your exaltedness that it now sells at 1.3 billion per fluid ounce. And only 3/4 of the bottle is left for sale. Please act with doubleplus haste!!!

Tripleplus devoted to your pleasure, I remain at your service.

PS. Sideplus of whiskey-infused free Maleto vintage still included in offer! Doubleplus pairing with steak tartare!"

My first (self-defense) impulse was to report the mail to the MIO as heretic, abusive, fraudulent, phishing. But after a few seconds thought, I realized this could be exactly the opportunity I was looking for to bring the suitcase antimatter bomb into the blood cellar. I answered:

"Dear Sommelier. With great pleasure I can inform you that I have collected all the necessary funds. Please reserve what is left of the bottle for me. I will be at the shop as soon as I can."

It answered almost immediately.

"Quadrupleplus happy, sir, elated, sir, truly, elated! Sir, your best and most exlusive property ever, sir! For you to enjoy! We will celebrate with some carbonated sparkly Mikal Vektor on the house! I am positively thrilling with doubleplus exciment to see your exaltedness again! Client of the year, already, doubleplus certain!"

Of course it is happy. Half a liter of Luna blood comes at 20 billion. But that actually helps me: so much cash (even in plex) has to be brought in a big suitcase. My suitcase will carry something else.