Gun-furriers

Coronation day passed without incidents or further provocations from the sedevancantists. Now that this delicate time is over, and given that the fallout over Libby's reappearance in Mehatoor seems mostly contained, Mr. Firth is again free to join us in his capacity of political officer on the Indagatrix. We reported what happened over the last couple of weeks to him, to bring him up to speed.

Mr. Firth is in that stage of youth where one thinks that one already knows all there is to know about a subject after one or two experiences. With a look that impersonates a seasoned veteran, he scolded our amateurism in exploring the Mezagorm biosphere, and proudly revealed an MIO weapon suitable for the task.

Modern guns, even projectile weapons, always have some electronics in them. The hobbyist expects their gun to send them an e-mail when it is time for maintenance or ammunition is low. It might even automatically buy new ammunition, and give feedback on pulse and blood pressure when handled. For those that keep a gun under their pillow - not uncommon in more rural areas of the outer worlds - it even tracks the quality of sleep and has a programmable alarm clock imitating a gunshot. Guarantees you to be awake. Of course, because of its electronic components it is unusable in Mezagorm's biosphere.

The handguns that mr. Firth checked out from the Ministry depot do not have electronics. Also, no metal. The MIO checkout catalog did not have guns merely without electronics available, so he had to go full option. The guns he chose are fully biological, and alive. These things are meant as stealth weapons, to be smuggled into venues without raising alarm. 

Bio-mechanics is not to be underestimated. For example, adetomyrma venatrix, also known as the Dracula ant because it sucks blood from its larvae (a behavior known as 'nondestructive cannibalism') is able to snap its jaw accelerating it from 0 too 300km/h in merely 10 microseconds. So, it should be no surprise that fully bio-based guns have been developed, shooting tiny ultrahard bone fragments like a regular projectile gun.

This works best if the bio-mechanical device is still alive. In order to conceal its deadly nature, the MIO developed bio-mechanical guns that look exactly like furriers. Personally, I find their use to be somewhat disturbing. You prime them by petting, and then one has to stick a finger in an orifice in the back to find and pull the trigger bone. The startled animal shoots in the direction that its beak is pointing. 

Nobody expects an old ladies' furrier to be a lethal weapon (unless they have met mr. Maulus, lady Agatha's pet furrier).

With this special gear, Mr. Firth is confident that we will be able to explore the biosphere, safe from both raiders and dangerous fauna. After we arrive in Mezagorm, the entire crew will receive elementary training in gun-furrier use and petting safety.